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Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Diary of my life in Cambodia 5

Day 25, 29 October 2012 Monday

Woken up by a power trip at 9.30am. Everything went out & couldn't work but it was shortly fixed. Couldn't get back to slp but it's ok, just 30min before my alarm rings. Today is King's Coronation Day, a ph in Cambodia. Even though he passed on but they still celebrate this day. Suddenly recalled the day the king's father's body came back from Beijing. After the grand procession, Seth sincerely asked me "So just curious, when Lee died did your country ppl cleared the streets & do the same thing too?" I was astounded! Exclaimed "He's still alive!" to which Seth apologised profusely afraid he'd offended me. Had the whole day to myself today so I blogged more pics, then helped Ramy w his project for Law. It's on Asian countries & he lucky-picked Singapore & need to find out the diff tiers in our judicial system. He's really studious. Everytime I come downstairs I see him either studying or reading eng out loud. I'd been trying to learn Khmer... abit. Should've started in the first wk. I might be fluent by now. Actually in the 1st wk I've noticed... "english" (anglais) & "gift" (cadeau) are pronounced exactly the same in Khmer & French, even though they're 2 vastly diff languages. And today, I found another similarity. When you want to say no or not something, e.g I have not eaten, you add a "men" somewhere in the middle & "te" behind. Much like ne pas in French. So after Ramy's crash course & some self-studying on youtube, I can now introduce myself & ask some basic ques in Khmer! Of cos I'm just learning how to speak (phonetically using eng) & not read. A quick search on google scares me. I think really learning how to read those symbols would take me 10yrs. But Ramy said I'm talented! Quite self-content today :) Did some reading too, which was good! Really appreciate having time to spend alone. Didn't wanna go out today, esp after nightfall. But I ran out of orange juice so I made a quick trip to Lucky supermarket. Ramy said he's gg to the riverside w his friends & asked me along but I declined. These 2 days there's constantly something on my mind & invading my thoughts. Which is food! What to eat for lunch/dinner tml, & the day after, & next. Must plan precisely. I have a full list I save in my phone but know perfectly well I don't have enough days to try them all. Suddenly hit me that I'm gonna go home v soon :(



Day 26, 30 October 2012 Tuesday

Tuesday is my fav day of the wk cos Nat Geo's showing Scam City & Locked up Abroad. I love these 2 shows! So I always make it a point to come home before 8pm. It rained this morning so I stayed in the lobby & chatted w Ramy. I'm surprised at his knowledge on the history of Singapore! He told me he really admire Lee Kuan Yew & wants to buy his biography but couldn't afford it at USD$30. He even know our current PM is Lee Hsien Loong! Which I'm quite pleased on hearing :) I think deep down in everybody, we all take pride in our motherland, no matter how far we are from home. I personally am openly proud of my country; how from a small fishing village she's become a developed financial hub w world-class architectures. I know the Cambodians are too. From the day I came here I've noticed.. Julie asked if I'd like to go to her homeland 2hr away. Ravy said if he has a car he'd v much like me to see his province, a 6hr ride away. The provinces are all agricultural where ppl rear animals & live in huts. I dunno if it's like how I imagine but I believe kids born & grown there must have v good values. Like Ravy. He once told me he'd never been to a club & "will never, ever" cos his parents v much oppose. I rem thinking you'll never hear this from a kid born in SG. And then there's Ramy, who told me today that Cambodia used to be v rich, & quoted LKY that a long long long time ago he said something like to look up to Cambodia & learn from them. Had brunch @ Herb cafe on st 51, I fell in love w the place the min I sit down! It's so inviting I feel like I could sit here the whole afternoon & ppl-watch. Read an article of how this america-raised Cambodian singer, also Miss Cambodia wishes to let the whole world know the beauty of her country & culture, beyond the charm of Angkor Wat alone. She was borned in a refugee camp at the border of Thailand, & her family was sponsored to move to US when she was 2. Even though she's so far away from home, she still has these dreams & sense of pride. That's what I mean.
Today, I also found out that the numerous kids w light brown hair might not be artificially dyed but becos of malnutrition. Googled about it & it's true. But Ramy disagree saying that there's alot of kids who dye cos they wanna stand out. Becos I've seen so many w trendy hairstyles, both adults & kids, so much that I've become sceptical. When we visited the slumps I even saw 1-2 households with a drawer full of nail polish. So it really bewilders me... I think I need to remind myself not to be sceptical. Lesson was v funny today! Mostly becos I spoke Khmer in front of the kids, just after a 2hr crash course. Hahaha! The language's v interesting really. And now the tables are turned! They all surrounded me saying the same word & kept repeating, trying to get me to pronounce accurately. So I just rapped "breok breok breok breok breok" & they all broke into laughter. Sila even rolled on the floor laughing. Is it that funny? I'm trying! Then, Vandet & Liakna took an eng book (the one I taught them ABC with!) pointed to "Ice-cream" & say in Khmer. Then point to "Jelly" & say in Khmer again. Then flipped the page & point to "Rabbit". Hahaha I'm now their student! It was so fun. They were quite surprised I could speak Khmer. Just regretted not learning earlier :(
Tango-ed w ah ma today. I miss her.


Happy faces. Just looking at this photo bring about smiles =D


This is my scribble rough handwriting. Only the top right is my real handwriting. I was in a rush!



Day 27, 31st October 2012 Wednesday

Today's a public holiday again. It's the King's bdae. 2 days ago is King's coronation day. I've been here for a mth & they already have 3-4 ph. Today is also halloween day, my girls must be crazy partying. Right now HBO, cinemax & fox movies premium (3 out of 6 channels I watch. The other 3 being starworld, discovery & Nat geo) are all playing horror movies, & I'm dead scared of horror movies! :( Had the whole day to myself again, I'm actually vv grateful for that. Woke up at 9.30am, watch tv, practised my Khmer, read & took a short nap. It's my 1st nap in a vvv long while! I haven't taken naps since I got here. Have been slping vvv well everynight. And I realised my beibei (the small blanket I brought here) is really dirty! It's a dirty grey compared to the white bedsheets! Mum always ask me to wash but I always refused. Really needa put it in the wash when I get back. Thought about the kids & recalled how Sila asked me to sing a song ytd, specifically "Take me to your heart". I couldn't be sure if we're talking about the same song so I sang a line & he went along. How cute! He actually know that song! I realised they really like singing, always asking me to sing. So the other day I downloaded nursery rhymes apps on my phone & they were so happy whenever I played it. Wanted to go Samaky on st 51 but was too lazy so I just crossed the road to Nike's pizza house for pasta. Actually I don't really like Italian food. I don't even remotely like pasta, but the cruise spaghetti was so good! USD$4 w crabs, prawns & tuna. Yummy! The boss remembered me & gave me a free banana too :)


Day 28, 01 November 2012 Thursday

Had a vvv good slp! Went to Spinelli for breakfast- Tuna & mango wrap. Pasted the art work the kids did last wk on the wall, mine included :) My camera batt is running low since 2 wks ago so I saved the last bit of power for a grp shot today. Everytime I took out my camera they will get incredibly excited. From 4 students on the 1st day I now have about 20 students. Hehheh more than the full-time teachers! For dinner, I treated myself to a feast @ an authentic French restaurant La Marmite, which was supposed to be superb. But imo was just mediocre. Classy ambience but that's about it. Ordered beef medallion (dunno how long never eat beef already!) but look nothing like it. USD$18 is nothing compared to prices back home but my days are running out! I could've had good cheap Indian food instead :(




Damn cute this girl. She look mixed!




Awwww the children keep giving me gifts almost every other day towards my last week. I kept telling them to stop but they say they want to give me souvenirs to remember them :)

Love them so much






Day 29, 02 November 2012 Friday

Can't believe it's into November now. Where has the past 10mths been to? Was soooo sleepy last night but I couldn't slp! Only managed to slp at 6am+, & when I wake up at 9, Z is in PP, at my hotel already. Seems really crazy how less than 12hr ago I asked him to book a flight here & here he is. Well technically I booked the flight for him, all he has to do is show up at the airport w his passport. But thing is he's here despite having impt events on sat. And the irony is we haven't been talking for 6 mths, kinda fell out but I've always felt it's a pity to lose this friendship over an argument. I'm happy that we're now talking again & I will be a better friend now. Brought him to Spinelli after checking in & settling down. Now I feel a strange belonging to this city & I want to share & show him that it's indeed a lovely place! Not as dangerous/run-down as he thinks it is. He is super paranoid & constantly think ppl wanna assassinate him! Don't even dare to slp alone in a room omg. After breakfast, went to develop photos for the kids. Then tee came to fetch us & we went to this restaurant Open Wine which I've been wanting to try. We went for the lunch set USD$10 for 3 courses & I treated him as promised. Yet again the food's a disappointment like ytd :( Wanted to bring him to the Russian market but it's too late so went straight to the center. Brought him for a walk into the village cos I want him to see what the living condition's like, but I could tell he was uncomfortable w the dirt. The first time I went also abit uneasy but now I feel normal. There's a vendor selling balloons outside the center, he bought 5 for the kids & they were so happy! They're always curious about new ppl so keep asking his name. And he taught them phonics although it was quite hard to teach. I tried. Gave out sweets we bought @ the supermarket & toothbrushes I collected from my hotel. It's my 2nd last day of lesson, I feel kinda 不舍得 :(
Went to Sher-e-Punjab for dinner. Finally came here! My 1st time trying authentic Indian food... w my hands! Quite excited. Asked tee to join us too. After that we went to riverside cafe metro for drinks, another place I've wanted to come. Had expresso martini but it was really expensive. After finishing one drink, we walked further down for beer at $0.50/draft. Where can we find beer at this price in SG? Total bill is only $2.20...amazing. As usual like old times, talked about alot of stuff which makes me think hard & deep. Great night!


Ugliest drawing ever seen :x




Day 30, 03 November 2012 Saturday

V fruitful day today! Woke up at 10am+, walked to Samaky for breakfast. Z & I shared a fried chicken w mango & cashew nuts. But we move to Herb Cafe beside for smoothies cos I feel the ambience there is better. Tee came to fetch us & we went to F.O.S, made it a point to come back to buy a shirt for dad & ah boy. Ended up not buying cos I wanna go back the outlet opp sanduo. Wanted to do some sight-seeing so since I've been to the Killing Fields & national museum already, I suggested Toul Sleng museum instead. This place is much more devastating than the Killing Fields I feel. It used to be a school but Angkar transformed it into a prison where they held ppl captive. The derelict buildings & exact room/torture weapons/brick & cement, bloodstains even were still there, from 30+ yrs ago. The whole property just gives me the creeps, v similar to haunted OCH. I dunno I just feel scared to walk in, after awhile it got ok but when I walk into this room w poorly erected brick walls separating the room into 1x2m partitions... like shower cubicles in public swimming room, my goosebumps all rises. That room was used to detain children & there was an inexplicable dark, heavy atmosphere. There's also an S-21 survivor who escaped death, he was there with a book on his story. It's a miracle really. When I read the survivors story I felt so sad. The killings & torturing were so cruel I couldn't help tearing. Even though I know about this history I still feel appalled everytime I read it again. Had a late lunch @ the eatery near the center, & then went to the nearby supermarket buy tidbits cos it's my last lesson & I wanna throw a mini party for the kids. Bought biscuits, soft drinks, chocolate etc, then taught them how to read & write the words. And then the party started! Quite a chaos after awhile cos they started snatching. After that, took alot of photos w them. The last photo-taking we'll have :( Sigh. Got so emotional towards the end, so 不舍得 :( Then they all start to hug me... so tight. All run up to hug me. I was so touched I cannot control my tears! I really have built a connection w them for the past 1 mth & it's so hard to say goodbye. Passed them the developed photos & was feeling happy & sad at the same time. Sigh. After a prolonged departure, finally waved goodbye to them. Went to The Lost Room for dinner, which is REALLY hard to find. Not ordinarily hard is EXTREMELY! In vvv dark roads & when we found, the staff said "Congratulations! You've found The Lost Room." Hahaha I think the pun is the objective. Next, Z brought me to Elephant Bar @ Raffles Hotel which is vv high class & expensive. He smoked a cigar & I tried a puff for the 1st time. Then I got emotional thinking about the kids & started crying again. Like... How can we be enjoying at this expensive place but they stay in poor villages. Is it even right? This USD$30 can make them soso happy. Then I relaxed a lil after Z said something that makes sense. That yes this $30 can make them happy but only for awhile. We're here to help & we did help. The impt lesson is to learn to be grateful & appreciate what we have.


Passed by this bar otw to breakfast. Haha no money go Singapore's equinox, come here also can


These are of the Toul Sleng Museum. I know pics cannot depict the actual atmosphere but you'll get a chilly eerie feeling if you visit. This is of the Khmer Rouge era from 1975-1979, where ppl are brutally killed beyond your imagination. I still feel goosebumps whenever I think of it



The actual area they were held captive. Read the below, it's a huge signage located in the open field. It's in Khmer, (broken) eng & French cos as mentioned, Cambodia used to be under the French colony & till date some ppl still speak the language.

Cruel isn't it? And it's not like it's in WWII, these happened in just 1975.



Photographs of some victims. It's all the same procedure, they will capture them, take a photograph of them & throw them into rooms as cells. When you look at the photographs you really want to cry, some are taken with their features destroyed by torturings.


I keep seeing this sign & wonder what is it. Turns out this is a notice to all visitors not to laugh & regard this place with solemn.









Can you imagine a secondary school transformed into a prison by the Angkar? I remember reading that the pole used for P.E lesson is later used as a torturing weapon, pierced into flesh etc. & reading these accounts sounds really painful I can't help imagining.


Russian market




These are siblings. Liakna's a very lovely & smart girl, & her brother Vandet who's also very clever. He only joined in my 3rd week & I'm so happy to see him coming everyday since!






Day 31, 04 November 2012 Sunday

Every morning when I wake up, there'll always be ants crawling esp in the toilet. At least 10+ of them. Once or twice, I woke up to pee & I see hundreds of ants in the toilet, all running about in one line & ending in a crack in the wall. I suspect there're ant nests in my room! V scary the sight but just have to drown them w water. I'm damn scared of creepy crawlies, rodents & just recently realised, poultry. Whenever I'm near the center or in the village & a chicken appear in front of me, i'll freeze.
Last night I had a strange dream. I dreamt that I'm finally opening my heart & start to trust, & I got hurt. Quite a bad dream cos I woke up sweating & tensed. I remember Kexin & I was talking at a table, & the alarm rang. Walked to western union alone to change my SGD$400 for the rent. Bought another eng-khmer dictionary. This one's for Ramy as a small departure gift. I really hope everything will go smoothly for him & he get the job. Actually should buy another dictionary for tee. He'a really vv nice, hardworking, willing to learn & look like a good honest man. Finally had lunch @ Lonestar saloon, a Texas pub selling American food. The smoked pork ribs was really good! There's a corner w board games too so we took scrabble & had a really fun time playing. Had an appointment made for spa @ Villa paradiso. Already decided last wk that I'm gonna pamper myself one day before I flew back. So I had the USD$48 Asian Salt Scrub package. First I did sauna, then full body scrub, then aromatherapy & lastly when it's time for jacuzzi it was nightfall already. My masseuse had such good massage technique! But I later realised she's just started work for 1 wk, no wonder dunno how to operate the sauna & jacuzzi. I ended up anyhow pressing the buttons & activate the machine myself. This is the 1st time I feel the massage was so good I gave her tips willingly. When I was doing spa, Z went to Nagaworld w just $10, came back never lose all & still made a business acquaintance! Not bad. After enjoying complimentary tea & mango, Tee fetched us to Ocean. It's the only restaurant that I dined at & have been thinking about it for days on end. Definitely a must to come before I go back SG. We ordered beef carpaccio, mixed seafood platter & seafood spaghetti. The beef carpaccio was true enough REALLY REALLY good! Z said the seafood pasta was the best he had till date. So proud of myself! Cos I insist on coming here to try this restaurant. Ordered a carafe of white wine each, I had the same one when I visited the 1st time. Soooooo good. Lastly, had chocolate mousse which ppl say it's the best in PP. Certainly didn't disappoint. The whole meal was just awesome... sublime! I could die from happiness. If there's something called foodgasm this must be it cos I certainly felt a dose of pleasure then. The owner Herbert was there & I told him I just have to come back, this time bringing a friend. This whole meal cost USD$40 w starters & digestif (I think it's called amarello) on the house. Even that's perfect! After that, went to sky bar for another glass of wine. It has a fine view of the Independence Monument. Sitting there watching cars & motorcycles in the traffic makes me feel so forlorn. I really don't want to leave this country. ATM I seriously thought about staying here, for work or whatever. Then, we went to the riverside. Always wanted to try Harem's shisha so we did. Halfway through I felt really sick but it's not until we stepped out do I feel queasy. Immediately vomited, by the roadside! So embarrassing but dunno what's wrong, really sick. Shouldn't have tried shisha. It's actually kinda scary inside w ppl in private rooms smoking, like mafias. Z say cannot be so blindly gutsy later ppl drug me & take my kidneys then I know. Haha I heard of stories like that but dunno why I always don't think that much. Couldn't drink anymore so we change places & I had coke, my instant cure for everything. Packed my luggage when I got back to my room. Felt really really sad by the thought of leaving this familiar room. Feels like leaving home & I'm not ready to say goodbye to this place :(


The staff at my hotel who help clean the room. But only up to 12pm









Indeed.

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